Moving on, one year later

Part 2. The past year has been ROUGH. But, more than ever, I am working my way past this. My perspective is that out of all bad there is some good, and from all bad you can work back to good.

The good from the past year. My sister and I have become unbelievably close, and we both know there is an unbreakable bond between us. While we sat in a meeting with our attorney this past winter we answered three questions in a row in unison. He said, “Wow, you really are sisters.” I replied, “Sometimes lately I think we are the same person.” Throughout all the events of the past year we have been a united front. We have been on the same page at all times. While occasionally we may have taken a different approach to something, we always were willing to go with the other person – knowing we both agreed with either approach. There are no words strong enough to convey that I could not had handled the issues of the past year without her, the one person who could exactly understand the shoes I was in.

I have realized what a rock my husband can be. He has put up with a lot in the past year. He has put up with the enormous amount of time I was spending in St. Joe, at the expense of our family. For a while my parents’ house was cleaner than my own because I managed to do theirs more than ours. He has never said a word about the financial strain I put on our family, both through attorney costs and through all the times I had to hire a sitter. He has stuck with me through my impatience and temper, two things that have been ever-present during the depression and stress of the past year.

My kids are still amazing. They have been yelled at more than they deserved to be, they have heard me sigh with impatience as I tell them to hurry up, they have dealt with my crabby existence. And they still shine. They still smile and tell me they love me. As often as I have worried that I’m going to “break” them, they continue to be great kids. I hope they don’t remember the dark days of this past year.

I have become closer than ever to family members that, while they’ve been there since I was born, I didn’t have the bond I certainly do now. Family friends who have been in my life through my parents, have provided support and love in immeasurable ways. Mike’s family has provided love and support to me. My church family has prayed. And my group of mom friends have provided hugs, prayers, and, well, a night out when needed!

So much good surrounds me.

Where I have the most work to do is making me good again. I need to get out of the funk which had come to define me and move on. It is what it is – get over it!

Being a self-help book kind of girl, I’m reading two right now. Get Out of That Pit, and The Happiness Project. I joined Weight Watchers to get rid of this stress and depression weight I have packed on in the past year (well, and still baby weight in there, too!) We are eating healthier, and being healthier.

I WILL get there! Know it, my friends, I WILL!