Internet ties

My first memory of actually using the Internet was when I worked at All-Phase. It had to have been around 1996 or 1997, based on the office I remember being in. We had all just received connections to the Internet and email addresses. It felt very advanced! I remember performing my first Internet search, using Yahoo, which I think was the only search engine at the time.

These days I cannot imagine being without the Internet. I use it for my job -- in fact, it is my only connection to my job. I literally cannot perform my job without have an Internet connection. I use it to search out information regularly. Whether it is the weather, a phone number, or event information, I would desperately miss such easy access to information if I had no Internet. I use it to shop. I have never really been a big shopper, so being able to buy things I need from the comfort of home is awesome.

Beyond all of that, over the past few years I have found the internet to be an amazing tool for developing friendships that has gone beyond anything I would have ever imagined. It all began when I was first pregnant. The newness of such a thrilling experience prompted me to thirst for knowledge, seeking out anything I could find on pregnancy. I stumbled upon a website called Pregnancy Weekly. It was full of information. I also found that they had message boards that were sectioned by your birth month -- the month you were due.

On the birth club message board you could post a message or question, and anyone else there could post a reply. In the early days there was a great deal of posting of symptoms, to receive confirmation from many others that they were feeling the same things. A lot of , “Am I allowed to…,” with lots of, “My doctor said…” in reply. It was great.

Now, more than six years later, I have bonds with many of those girls that I know will carry through our lives. What started as sharing of information on our pregnancies turned into sharing information about all aspects of our lives.

The group of girls on that site eventually moved off to a privately hosted message board site that was password protected. It was invite only, so we could ensure that it was just our group of about 150 people. We knew who was having more children, who was going through a marriage crisis, who was suffering from the loss of a family member. We knew who had a new job, who was thrilled to have bought a new home, and who was graduating from school. We also knew what we were making for dinner, what our weekend plans were, and posted pictures of our haircuts. Nothing was too big or too small to post about.

Now, my connection with this great group of girls is on Facebook. Just in the past week or so we created a secret group on Facebook which allows us to post just to our group. Beyond the computer, though, I have met with many of the group in person. I’ve had people come and visit me in my home, and I have visited others. This past summer I vacationed in Niagara Falls with women from the group and their kids. The connections have been incredible.

I actually wrote this blog post a long time ago, meaning to add onto it and post it. I forgot about it. I thought to write a blog post about the group today, though, and it jogged my memory of this one.

Our group today received a shock. One “of us” passed away yesterday, very unexpectedly, at the age of 30. She leaves behind her husband, son who is almost six, and her parents that she cares for. It is nothing short of tragic.

I am thankful that our secret page on Facebook was already up and running as it provided us with an outlet for grief and a way to process. I was fortunate to have met Larissa a couple of times because she lived outside of Chicago. I spent time today going through pictures of our times together.

One of the girls in my group posted the following tonight: “I thought about this earlier, and I think it's just amazing that we are this close. Of course, some are closer to others (which is completely normal), but we have all been there to support each other for six years. Pregnancy, birth of November babies and babies after them, funny times, divorces and marriages, arguments and family problems. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support ♥.”

It sums it up so well. We are close. We have shared so, so much. And for the first time ever, we have lost one of our own. And it makes the love that much stronger.